written & edited by doc


Similarly to most people on the internet, I wasn't really sure how I'd start any of this. Let alone what content I would include on it.
Trust me, I'm certain I won't ever be 100% sure what it is I'm going to do on here. Just a continuous rough draft in my brainscape. I figured that
a journal is a simple and safe avenue to start on. If anyone is reading this, I'm glad something about the DRN webpage picqued your interest
enough to click around. It means a lot to me, stranger! Since this is my first entry on the sites journal, an intro is in order ((I feel you
pelting digital tomatoes at me. Sorry!!!)) On here, I go by Doc. I'm using this partially as an opportunity to take a step back from being
perceived as.. me? I feel like putting a face and real name behind me takes away some of the mystique. It limits how far I'll go to poke
around my brain to dish out something half decent.
I've spent several months in a "limbo" of sorts after graduating high school. I can't tell you the last time I tried to seriously write anything.
I'm currently obsessed with Quake. Specifically the first one, the only one with unforgettable ambience and the mother of any RPG- all the way down
to the code. I'm not super geeky though and I'm definitely not great at most games. My main hobby is music. writing music, playing music and listening
to music. That's not really special though. The world is full of musicians trying to get somewhere that will one day lose their purpose to AI. But I digress..
I know I'm good at it, and I'm told that a lot. I can't say that I remember when I was truly passionate with anything I am good at. But, I also can't
remember anything. I've lost an abnormal amount of memories. I'm sure that I'm capable of feeling the indescribable drive that makes people accomplish their
most important goals. that "nothing will stop me from making my dreams a reality" shtick. From where I'm at, that whole mindset is kinda just a Disney fantasy.
Sure, I feel unfulfilled from my the lack of my creative output in the last 5 years. And no, I won't cut myself slack considering the circumstances.
I'm guessing you might know what it feels to see somebody do better than you at the only thing you're good at. Whether they're younger, or poorer, whatever it may be.
It's miserable! It's comparison and jealousy. It's what flushed all of my dreams down the toilet. But that's common in any human experience. Modern man puts salary-based
achievement above passion/practice based achievement. Hard not to do when you have to pay to live (Almost like an EA game.)
Since this is my website and, I can say whatever the FUUUCK!!!! I want... I'll admit that I have no desire to go back to any school of sort. In this day and age,
plus I think for most families this is looked down upon.(including mine) Everybody has been patient with me through out all the hardships I've overcome, whilst putting
them through the ringer as well. Addiction is a powerful demon, and some days it's hard to be proud of where I'm at even when I look back at where I've been. I'm taking
premature-baby-steps into the early stages of adulthood. Since I spent a few years sitting on my ass and being an ass... I'm trying to decide on a future. I don't think
a genuine minute of my early highschool years was spent pondering a future for myself. just doing shitty tattoos on myself and swearing I wouldn't live to see my eighteenth
birthday. I swore wrong. My last minute solution to this trade school. The electrician trade more specifically. Every now and then I get reminded that, yes, I was once
a young mind with ambitions that- if countless circumstances and events in my life didn't occur- could've transformed into a real life career. I dreamed about being a
drum line captain. I never even came close. I gave up pretty quick after I started high school. I still believe that my approach to said ambitions and hobbies was too
"out-of-the-norm" to get me into any good school or program that would put me where I wanted. I fucking hate sheet music I HATE SCALES!!!! RAHH
I'll admit that theres a high probability that this little project of mine goes nowhere. I hope that you'll appreciate whatever comes of it anyways. I have pipe dreams of
including miscellaneous works from other people, like music, art, comedy, interviews or random conversation. I would need to make some friends first though, yeah?
Don't curse me if some of that doesn't come to fruition. This is a one pony show for now

see ya
7.9.24


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